
WASHINGTON, DC - MAY 9: Jeff Bezos, founder of Blue Origin, introduces their newly developed lunar lander "Blue Moon" and gives an update on its progress at the Walter E. Washington Convention Center. (Photo by Jonathan Newton / The Washington Post via Getty Images)
Planet Earth To Outer Space: When Bezos Blasts Off, Please Keep Him There
Voicing the oft-silenced rage of the oppressed, a whole lotta brutally honest earthlings are urging that "evil overlord hellbent on global domination" Jeff Bezos be banned from returning to the planet once he launches into space soon on his first Blue Origin flight. Arguing "billionaires should not exist" - especially when they pay no taxes but still give their ill-paid, downtrodden workers so few breaks they have to piss in bottles - over 95,000 people have signed a petition "to the proletariat" with the forthright and practical demand: "Do not allow Jeff Bezos to return to Earth."