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Just in time for the holidays and oh happy day criminal charges, the shabby carnival barker and future inmate recently hit another implausible new low with his "major announcement" of blissfully tacky $99 Trump digital trading cards celebrating"my life and my career" - as superhero, astronaut, cowboy etc - plus SWEEPSTAKES! prizes like meeting the perp himself. After a savage response - from fans' "Are you f&King kidding me?" to The Good Liars' killer "honest" cards - he claimed he was really announcing his "plan" to save free speech after he's re-elected (mayor of FCI Otisville Block 4).
Just in time for the holidays and oh happy day the referral of criminal charges against him, the shabby carnival barker and future inmate managed to hit yet another implausible new low last week with a "major announcement" that turned out to be the launch of blissfully tacky, $99, grifting-for-his-life Trump digital trading cards celebrating his life and "career" - as ripped Superhero, astronaut, cowboy and presumably now white-collar-except-for- the-orange-makeup-stains-perp. Monday's unanimous referral by the Jan. 6 Committee of four criminal charges - "influencing or impeding an official proceeding of the US government," "conspiring to defraud the US", "unlawfully (making) false statements to the federal government," and "assisting or engaging in insurrection against the United States" - was, of course, the day's big, bad news for the has-been now living a "sad," lame life in his "Barbie Dream House" amidst endless golf games, hapless sycophants and the dutiful applause of dinner guests for a loser who desperately craves it. The decision that it's "time to prosecute" the most flagrant of his boundless crimes could mean the end of all that, an end devoutly to be wished; it could also decisively show, declared Jamie Raskin, that, "Ours is not a system where foot soldiers go to jail, and the masterminds and ringleaders get a free pass."
Still, for all the day's drama and schadenfreude, the Committee's action was long-awaited and somewhat expected. Not expected was Trump's willingness in the preceding days to sink yet one foul rung lower in the Cheap Grifter Department. Awaiting the rumored charges, he was already losing it with a bonkers rant about the "Unselect Committee of Democrats, Misfits and Thugs" going after his "'PEACEFULLY & PATRIOTICLY' speech" on Jan. 6th, which was "mild & loving." Then, tossing any minimal remaining shred of dignity to the wind, he morphed into a gaudy salesman hawking "a series of utterly ridiculous, abominably photoshopped," likely illegal by dint of copyright law NFT imaginary trading cards - think Mickey Mantle without the card - featuring his mug stuck onto multiple, fit, heroic figures with "really terrible to really, really terrible" results - a move even his last five loyal fans declared "one of the cringiest things ever" before incredulously asking, like many of us before them, "Is this a joke?" Nope. After a tacky tease - lasers shooting from his eyes! - proclaiming, "America needs a SUPERHERO," he evidently, astoundingly decided he's (still) it. "Come for the claim Trump was a better president than Washington and Lincoln!" mocked one group. "Stay for the Trump digital trading cards!"
The "ultimate holiday grift" - "sort of like baseball cards, but hopefully more exciting!" - features a supremely cheesy, "limited edition," "digital collectible" trading card, each with "a pre-assigned rarity" and "exclusive incredible artwork" "priced to sell at just $99!" And SWEEPSTAKES prizes! 45 cards - $4,500-plus - gets you A GUARANTEED TICKET TO A DINNER with "hopefully your favorite president of all time" in "South Florida" (but you have to pay to get there). Other prizes: A chance to "spend time with the president of the United States" (Biden?) playing golf, or Zooming, or seeing him sign plastic crap. "Christmas is coming and this makes a great Christmas gift," he says in his QAnon meets QVC video. "They will be gone, I believe, very quickly!" "TODAY ONLY $99!" blare the ads. "1000s of PRIZES! BUY NOW!" Astonishingly, suspiciously, the atrocities reportedly sold out within 24 hours; many wondered if they were bought up by his PAC, or served as a front for a foreign country funneling money to him, or got caught in some shady time/space continuum where pathetic crimes by pathetic clowns are rewarded. Regardless, he likely made at least a cool million toward his soaring legal costs.
In return, he forfeited a sizable chunk of whatever supremely scant political credibility he had left to him, including by stalwart MAGA cultists who until then somehow hadn't realized their noble leader was a lying, moronic, cartoon grifter. Sample responses as documented by former GOPer and nemesis Ron Filipkowski: "Are you f(&King kidding me?", "Trump is becoming a joke," "Pretty sure I just fell off the Trump train. Unbelievable," and, from right-wing media figure Baked Alaska, now facing six months in jail for his Jan. 6 rowdiness, "I can't believe I'm going to jail for an NFT salesman." Sentient human beings were unsurprised but similarly unimpressed: "Pathetic has a new basement... One of the most hilariously shit videos I've ever seen... Will he throw in a couple of steaks and a college degree?...The guy's a moron....The political version of suicide by cop." Polls now show Trump on the rails: Both CNN and Quinnipiac recently found his approval rate at a six-year-low of 31% of Republicans. And many experts noted that, in keeping with his Art-of-the-Deal self-mythologizing, his judgment and timing, this time on the NFT and crypto currency market, were again catastrophic - "He bought into a clear collapse" - because everything he touches dies, still.
Despite the cold cash he got, the savage mockery of his latest venture prompted the ever-fragile Trump to back-peddle and swiftly, clumsily claim, Dumb-and-Dumber-like, that his real "major announcement" wasn't about silly cards but free speech. "MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT," shrieked MAGA War Room. "President (sic) Trump has announced his 2024 free speech platform." Cue six pained minutes of word salad about "my plan to shatter the left-wing censorship regime" after "bombshell reports" confirmed "a sinister group of deep-state bureaucrats, Silicon Valley tyrants, left-wing activists and depraved corporate news media" conspiring to "silence the American people." Insisting "the censorship cartel must (be) destroyed immediately," the only former president in history to be charged with multiple crimes of sedition vowed that, "within hours of my inauguration," he will sign an executive order banning anyone from calling anything "misinformation" yada yada. We assume that would be his inauguration as mayor of Crazy Town at FCI Otisville Block 4, where hopefully, in the quiet of his cell, he will be free to peruse alternative Trump cards, including - "MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT" - the honest grotequeries of The Good Liars: Space Hero, Builder Hero, Burger Hero, Twitter King, Stable Genius, Fine People Hero and, our fave, Jail Hero.
\u201cCome for the claim that Trump was a better president than Washington and Lincoln, stay for the "Trump digital trading cards"\u201d— The Republican Accountability Project (@The Republican Accountability Project) 1671121404
It's been ten years since a gunman with an AR-15 walked into an elementary school in Newton, Conn. and slaughtered 20 first-graders and six adults. Since then, there's been agonizingly meager progress on curbing America's apocalyptic gun carnage - Sandy Hook Promise's violence prevention, Change the Ref's advocacy, Biden's gun safety bill. But guns remain the leading cause of death for children: A sickening 12 a day. Meanwhile, parents still grieve, and struggle, and miss their kids: "Every shooting takes me back, and it probably always will...The holes in our hearts will never be filled."
This week marks ten years since a gunman with an AR-15 assault rifle and other guns walked into an elementary school in Newton, Conn., opened fire, and slaughtered a classroom of 20 first-graders, ages six and seven; he also killed six adult educators. Since that then-inconceivable event, there have been occasional, hard-won, agonizingly meager changes aimed at curbing America's apocalyptic gun carnage - changes that over 70% of Americans, even Republicans, support - and yet the assault weapons proliferate and the bloodshed continues. 19 kids in Uvalde, Texas. Buffalo, New York. Club Q in Colorado Springs. In Virginia, a Walmart and U. of V. Today, gun violence remains the leading cause of death for children - far and above cancer - in the land of the free. At least 4,368 American children have been killed by guns in the last two years - a sickening 12 small bodies a day. Since Sandy Hook, Americans have bought at least 150 million more guns, and there have been 948 more school shootings. Note to America: WTF?
America's ghastly numbers come from Sandy Hook Promise, the non-profit advocacy group co-founded by two victims' parents that now runs "know-the signs" violence prevention programs in 23,000 schools nationwide; to date, over 18 million kids have taken part. The stories behind the group are heart-rending: Dylan Hockley loved purple and was "pure unadulterated love and joy"; his friend Daniel Barden was "the caretaker of all living things," bringing carpenter ants back outside; when the first-graders were found, their classroom aide, also killed, held Dylan's body in her arms. Daniel's dad Mark still struggles with "the fact Daniel's gone forever for the rest of my life. I don't think I ever will, nor should I have to, wrap my head around this, nor should anyone else." Dylan's mom Nicole: "Every shooting takes me back, and it probably always will." This week, they posted a remembrance card for people to sign; still, "The holes in our hearts will never be filled."
Their advocacy has nonetheless wrought small shifts. In June, Biden signed the first gun-control bill in 30 years; it expands background checks, restricts "ghost" guns, gives more funding to mental health and violence intervention. Last month, a new Sandy Hook memorial quietly opened in Newtown. Following in their footsteps, a new generation of activists began March For Our Lives after 2018's massacre at Marjory Stoneman Douglas in Parkland killed 17 people. In the mid-terms, Maxwell Frost, one of their own, a 25-year-old, Afro-Cuban progressive, was elected to Congress. In July, seeking "to fight for every innocent soul lost to gun violence," the Yellow Bus Project launched its NRA Children's Museum, an eerie, mile-long convoy of 52 school buses, their empty seats representing the 4,368 kids killed by guns; in the lead bus, the Museum's "all-too-real archive" had photos, videos, artifacts from the dead. Created by Change the Ref's Manuel Oliver, whose son Joaquin died in Parkland, it made its first stop at the office of NRA bestie Ted Cruz.
But the dark reality of America's twisted, lethal obsession with guns - and its bloody results - persists: Since July's launch of the NRA Museum, 632 more children have died in shootings across the country. And for Sandy Hook parents enduring multiple versions of "perpetual pain," the passage of time has done little to heal. "Every year when the time comes around, it (just) hits you again," says the sibling of a survivor. "He just kind of thinks (about) how it could still happen today, because nothing has changed." "Ten years. A lifetime and a blink," wrote one mom. "Ana Grace, we used to wait for you to come home. Now you wait for us. Hold on, little one. Hold on." Above all, there is no closure possible, no end to grieving, no "moving on." Michele Gay, another mom: "We're always keeping our little girl, our little sister, with us." "To the rest of the world, it's definitely like, 'Wow! So much time has passed,'" said Francine Wheeler, who lost her six-year-old son Ben. "But to me, it's another fucking day we don't get to have our kids. It's just another day."
"Here's a Partial List of Mass Shootings in the United States So Far This Year."
NY Times headline, Nov. 20, 2022
And here's an armchair of glass shards, a blanket of fish hooks.
And here's a hollowed tomato stuffed with cigarette ash and spit.
Here's a cup of winter clouds which will block your esophagus
as you drink. Here's the book of names taller than a staircase,
pages puffed from dried tears. Here's a refrigerator seeping molasses,
swimming pool of thorns, the flower pot of silent tongues.
Here's the composite of 3,247 photos of mouths. Remarkable
how all of them are trembling. Here's the Styrofoam container
the office manager threw away. (Even though it's the owner's responsibility.)
And here's a hot sauce bottle filled with ice, a stack of checked-off
to-do lists, a pillow stuffed with pulled-out teeth.
Here's the full list of the people the murdered have kissed.
Here's a pair of slippers made of birds' beaks, ear plugs made of screams.
Here are the grains of sand you will slip under your eyelids,
the lit match with which to brush your hair.
Here's the breakfast of stones, the dinner of poisonous leaves.
And here are the dead's emptied clothes.
Following their leaders' dictate to show "firmness," Iran has executed a second young prisoner within days for protesting the country's repressive theocracy, publicly hanging him from a construction crane as a grisly warning to others. Both 23, Mohsen Shekari and Majidreza Rahnavard were hanged after being convicted in sham trials before a Revolutionary Court of "enmity against God" and "corruption on earth." Their respective crimes: Blocking roads and stabbing two paramilitary forces. Another 25 people face execution by a "regime (that) has taken justice and freedom to the slaughterhouse."
Days after dictates from their leaders, including President Ebrahim "Butcher of Tehran" Raisi, to show "firmness" by "sending the first rioter to the gallows," Iran has swiftly executed two young prisoners found guilty before a Revolutionary Court - in "proceedings that bore no resemblance to a meaningful trial" - of "enmity against God" and "corruption on earth" by protesting the country's repressive theocracy. Mohsen Shekari, 23, convicted of blocking roads and wounding two paramilitary soldiers, was the first known protester to be executed; he was hanged last week in prison. On Monday Majidreza Rahnavard, also 23, was publicly hanged, probably still alive, from a construction crane as a grisly warning to others; he was convicted, with five others, of stabbing to death two members of the paramilitary. In an already brutal crackdown on protests against the country's repressive theocracy, another 25 people face execution by a "regime (that) has taken justice and freedom to the slaughterhouse."
Despite its alleged devotion to Islam - whose compassionate God in the Qur'an urges Muslims to use "beautiful preaching" to bring people to faith and argues "there is no compulsion in religion" (2:256) - Iran is one of the world's top executioners, invariably in the name of a Holy War, usually by hanging, often with the condemned still alive when it begins. So far this year, Iran has killed over 500 people, the largest number in several years according to Oslo-based Iran Human Rights. Public hangings by crane have been so common, including during Green Movement protests after a disputed 2009 election, that activists have tried to pressure crane companies not to send them there. With 90% of Iranians practising Shi'a Islam, the country's official religion, the extremist Iranian Revolutionary Guard and its allies, the Basij paramilitary force, habitually cite divine injunction to justify their rabid support of Ayatollah Ali Khamenei's ruthless rule and their violent repression - now, against protests entering their fourth month after the murder of Mahsa Amini.
Thus, it was both shocking and not that Iranian authorities on Thursday executed Mohsen Shekari for "waging war against God" by closing off a main street in Tehran, wounding a member of the Basij in the shoulder with a machete, and "creating fear and depriving people of their freedom and security" (sic) during September protests. Like other prisoners, activists say Shekari was tortured, coerced into a false confession, and convicted after a "show trial without any due process." His murder came after the Revolutionary Guards had urged swift, harsh judgments against "rioters, thugs and terrorists" out in the streets committing "crimes against the security of the nation and Islam." Reflecting their fervor, the authorities' fast-tracking of protesters' trials through the system, and the desperate speed with which the state is using death sentences to terrorize an angry populace into submission, the second execution came Monday with the gruesome, public hanging of Majidreza Rahnavard from a construction crane just three days after he was convicted and sentenced by the "court."
A fitness buff and champion wrestler, Rahnavard was sentenced in the city of Mashhad for allegedly killing two members of the Basij with a knife, and wounding four others, in a fit of rage about the killings of protesters. He was reportedly convicted after a coerced confession and "grossly unfair" show trial. Authorities allowed his mother to visit him in prison - there are smiling photos - but did not tell her of his sentence; his family woke early Monday morning to the news he'd been hanged and buried in the local cemetery. He was killed before dawn, so there were few witnesses. But there is grim video on social media, and Iran's state-run Mizan news agency published images of Rahnavard hanging by rope from the crane, hands tied behind him, feet bound, black bag over his head. A banner quotes the Qur'an, warning "those who wage war against Allah (and) cause corruption on the earth (shall) be slain or crucified..." Comments online: "Where are you EU?," "We will take revenge for every drop of the blood you shed," "StopExecutionsInIran," and "You remain silent, and the next victim will follow."
Since protests began in September, activists say at least 488 people have been killed and over 18,000 detained in what Iran still doggedly calls "riots" sparked by foreign enemies. Advocates now warn of "a serious risk" of mass executions, with officials already "preparing to execute" two more young men, one for allegedly drawing a knife at protests - he denies it - and one after "a fast-tracked proceeding which did not resemble a trial" for "tearing down highway railings and setting fire to rubbish cans." And other atrocities go on apace. The Guardian reports security forces are targeting the faces, breasts and genitals of women protesters; doctors say women have been shot directly into the eyes by shotgun pellets causing horrific wounds and blindness, while men have dozens of pellets lodged in their legs and backs. Iran has also re-imprisoned Baha'i leaders for 10 years for their activism; arrested dozens of artists, including two rappers both sentenced to death for their songs; and turned to blacklisting multiple European groups and individuals, notably those focused on human rights and climate change.
Meanwhile, we have the "disgraceful saga" of similarly-if-slightly-less tainted western officials and human rights bodies largely helpless before an authoritarian regime that meets protest with execution. The E.U. foreign ministers voted to step up sanctions, but have yet to recall ambassadors; Amnesty urges the international community to "take all necessary measures to pursue accountability"; Germany declares Iran's "contempt for humanity knows no bounds"; the UN Human Rights Council will establish another "fact-finding mission," but Tehran won't cooperate anyway. And Iranians still protest. This weekend they marched silently in several cities and lit candles outside Shekari's Tehran home, chanting, "They took our Mohsen away, they brought back his lifeless body"; many were beaten by security forces. A day after his execution, the regime published a list of 25 people charged with the same "crimes" - between 5 and 15 of them in the death of one Basij agent. Though no one has been held accountable for hundreds killed protesting a woman's murder for removing her hijab, or thousands in earlier protests, all 25 now face execution. Say their names.
On Death Row: Saeed Shirazi, Mohsen Rezazadeh Gharaqlu, Mahan Sadrat Marni, Sahand Noor Mohammadzadeh, Mohamed Qobadlu, Mohammad Broughni, Saman Saidi, Mohsen Shekari (executed), Toomaj Salehi, Majid Rahnavard, Mohammad Mehdi Karami, Seyyed Mohammad Hosseini, Arin Farzamnia, Amin Mehdi Shokrollahi, Reza Aria, Mehdi Mohammadi, Mohammad Amin Akhlaqi, Behrad Ali Kenari, Javad Zargaran, Shayan Charani, Hamid Qare Hasanlu, Farzaneh Qare Hassanlou, Amir Mohammad Jafari, Reza Shaker, Ali Moazzami Gudarzi.