Can Big Balls Live Up to His Name and Take on the Pentagon Behemoth?
President Donald Trump and Elon Musk chose to take a chainsaw and cut down the entire USAID tree rather than prune the dead and diseased wood.
But in relation to the size of the federal discretionary budget, USAID is small potatoes. In the chart above, the entire USAID budget is the skinniest slice of the pie.
The biggest slice—the one that takes up half of the entire pie—is the Pentagon budget. The Pentagon—just the civilians—represents more than one-third of the entire federal civilian workforce.
The Pentagon is America’s biggest spender, biggest waster, and the most corrupt department in the entire federal government. It took 1,700 auditors to conclude that they just can’t find $4.1 trillion in assets.
The Pentagon has never passed an audit, but every year, Congress gives them more money. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that manufacturers of shoddy weapons systems invest tens of millions into congressional members’ reelection campaigns. Then these weapons contractors hire lobbyists, usually former Pentagon employees themselves, to wine, dine, and otherwise schmooze the senators and representatives who sit on defense appropriations committees. In turn, these members vote to keep the gravy train running to the tune of billions. Weapons contractors reap the rewards, which come out to be about a 450,000% return on their investment. Not to mention the 50-plus members of Congress who either directly, or through spouses, hold stock in these companies that continue to price gouge the Pentagon. If the Pentagon were a public company listed on NYSEC, its top executives would all be in jail.
There is some good news to be had. President Trump and Elon Musk say they are gunning for the Pentagon next. No doubt they will not chop down the whole tree, instead choosing to prune, unlike their strategy for minor-spending USAID. Let’s hope they plan to cut the Pentagon budget down to what’s necessary to defend the land we live on, and pull back from our previous strategy of controlling the entire world by military force. Instead of just fiddling around the edges and focusing on thousand-dollar soap dispensers, let’s hope Trump meant it when he talked about cutting hundreds of billions of dollars of weapons systems that have nothing to do with defending the U.S. To get into it at the Pentagon, Elon is touting one of his “top DOGE team members,” a young genius gent who goes by the name of “Big Balls.”
Well, Big Balls, should you choose to take on the Pentagon behemoth, know that you have your work cut out for you. Much of its waste is hidden in plain sight: Thousands of nuclear weapons are already overkill, with thousands more planned. Weapons systems that don’t work and cost American taxpayers billions. Corrupt weapons manufacturers price gouging the government for weapons that spend more time in the shop than available for service. Warplanes that are so needlessly complex that only the contractor who constructed the piece of crap is capable of repairing them. Former Pentagon generals, who take their insider knowledge straight to the source in their retirement, often lining up cushy board seats at these very same weapons manufacturers, fleecing the American people.
Those are some mighty foes and entrenched interests for you to take on, Big Balls. Hundreds of billions of dollars of waste, fraud, abuse, and insane, irrational, and immoral policies are at stake. There’s going to be a lot of war profiteers who will attack you. It will be a David and Goliath-esque undertaking. And it’s going take some really big balls to end it and to change this Department of War (That’s DOW as in the stock prices that are at stake) into a true Department of Defense, whose job is defending the land we live on, rather than controlling the entire world through endless wars.
